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    I went upstairs to look for some tent stakes I had,, so that I could use them in staking out the plants in my yard when they get bigger. I ran across a trash bag in a closet, looked inside, and I noticed I still have a giant inner tube I bought years ago when I lived on Stone Street in Port Huron. It stands taller than I do, when it is fully inflated. I bought it at a tire store downtown, fully inflated, where it was sold as a "fun tube", and carried it home on foot. I took it out one time at about 4 o'clock in the morning, high on acid and weed, while I was living in an apartment on Stone Street, wearing a swimsuit, and walked it down to Lighthouse Park. I walked it out into the water off the beach at the bottom end of Lake Huron, and then I kick paddled towards the St. Clair River. When I got around to where the paper plant was, I could feel the current picking up and taking complete control over the direction of the tube. By the time I was approaching the Blue Water Bridge, there was a freighter coming towards me going the opposite direction. The thing that struck me very suddenly was that the front end of a freighter, if you are looking at it when it is headed straight at you at close range, looks like it was especially designed just for cutting inner tubes in half. I couldn't tell how far away I would be from the freighter by the time we met up, or if I was in danger of being rammed, until it got close enough that it would have been at the point of no return. I kick paddled as hard as I could towards shore to try to miss the freighter; but, it seemed like the inner tube just wanted to go wherever the current wanted it to, like a roller coaster ride hanging onto the rails. I'd swam against the current in the river many times before; so, I knew I could swim out of the way of the freighter before it got close enough to hit me, if I left the tube soon enough. But, the tube wouldn't budge. I knew I had to make a decision: either swim into shore in time, abandoning the giant tube which was such a great mighty ship and floating object big enough to hold me completely out of the water if I didn't need to kick paddle, and probably having zero chance of ever seeing it again; or, stick with the tube and hope that the freighter would barely miss me. I decided to stick with the tube. As the freighter got closer, just as I was passing under the bridge, someone from the shore asked if the water was cold, apparently not as concerned as I was over whether or not I would be rammed by the freighter. When you have a freighter heading towards you that close and you are looking at the front of it from a close angle, it's hard to tell the exact path it is heading, and if it will hit you head on or just pass by closely. I yelled back that the water was warm, which it was, since it was in August; and, I could hear my voice being transmitted through the stretched rubber in the tube, like the head of a snare drum, echoing through the water underneath like a large canyon, and vibrating back out of the inner tube. At that moment I had five main trains of thought going on: (1) how warm the water was, compared to all the other times I had been in the St. Clair River, including one time in late November, when I had been pushed in by another young kid who was behind me when I looked into the water while standing at the edge, which was cold enough to wake someone out of a coma, (2) that the right combination of sound transmitting mediums could turn a large body of water into a very good echo/reverb chamber, (3) that I was very fortunate that it appeared that the freighter would miss hitting me as I watched it passing closely by on my port side like a Guppy passing a Swordfish the size of a Whale, (4) no matter how things appear to our feeble, relatively unenlightened mortal human minds, on whatever trip we are on in our journey through life, there are always forces beyond our control or comprehension that really determine our destiny, even though we can often be a noticeable contributor to those factors through free will; and, (5) it doesn't really matter as long as you don't let it bother you. As I traveled further down the river, my kick paddling seemed to have very little effect on the tube; although, I gradually managed to maneuver it closer to shore a little at a time. Finally, the current seemed a little kinder by the time I got near the waste treatment plant, where I was finally able to get close enough to the railings and then made it onto shore. That was the only time I used that tube. I decided if I ever was going to use it again, it would be in the daytime, with other people around who I knew, and a long rope attached to the tube to give to someone on shore, so that they could pull me in if necessary. It's been sitting around deflated for years unused. After I had it a while, I had a garage replace the inflation hole, which was like that found in a basketball, where you need an attachment on the end of the air pump, with a standard type valve like you would find on a car tire, so that I could inflate it with an air compressor or pump without needing the adapter. I was told it takes about fifteen minutes to inflate it with an air compressor like you would find at a service station. I don't know if the rubber would have degraded a noticeable amount, being deflated all these years. When it is fully inflated, it reaches above me when I am standing up. With all that air inside when it is inflated, as wide as it is, you could fit several people on it at one time, or maybe even mount some type of platform on top. I bought it fully inflated at the tire store downtown when I was walking by years ago for $50. It was worth it just for the one trip, where for a moment I felt like I was the captain of a mighty ship at sea, until I realized more and more that rock crushes scissors, and my mighty blunt edged rubber ship wouldn't do too well in a Sumo wrestling match with a 1,000 foot freighter. I have often wondered why Whales can't just travel up the Saint Lawrence Seaway until they get to the Blue Water Area, as Port Huron is known. They have missed out on a lot of fun...  

CAPTAIN KIBBE

​Commander of the Dark Ship Fantastic

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